As my autumn preaching tour in Poland gradually came to a close, my thoughts began drifting towards Vrindavan and my forthcoming visit to that transcendental abode. Each year as the month of Kartika approaches, I hanker for the spiritual atmosphere of the holy dhama. It's the natural place for a preacher to rest, recuperate and, most importantly, go deeper into Krsna consciousness.
　　随着秋天在波兰的旅行传教临近结束，我的思绪飘向了温达文和我即将去那超然居所的拜访。每年接近卡尔提卡月的时候，我都渴望圣地的灵性气氛。那是一个适合传教士休息、恢复的自然之地，最重要的是能让奎师那知觉更深入。
　　As a devotee grows older and the attraction for material pleasures begins to fade (either because of spiritual advancement, or an aging body) he takes more seriously the opportunity to visit holy places. When I was younger I would go to India for the excitement of seeing an exotic land, associating with my devotee friends from around the world and participating in big festivals.
　　当一个奉献者年老、物质快乐的吸引力开始减退（或者因为灵性的进步或躯体的老化），他会更认真的对待去朝拜圣地的机会。当我还年青的时候我愿意去印度因为可以看到令人兴奋的异国风情，在那里和我来自世界各地的奉献者朋友们联谊，一起参与盛大的节日活动。
　　But these days I go to India mainly to take shelter of Vrindavan, to chant the holy names peacefully in her sanctified atmosphere, to pray to the previous acaryas for mercy, and to contemplate the Lord's pastimes. Well into the autumn of my life, the cherished goal of pure love of God still eludes me. If there's any hope of achieving that miracle of love, it's in Sri Vrindavan Dhama.
　　但现在我去印度主要是为获得温达文的庇护，在她神圣的气氛中平和的唱颂圣名，祈祷先前阿查尔亚们的仁慈，冥想主的娱乐活动。已经步入生命秋天的我，满怀对主纯粹奉爱的目标仍躲避着我。如果还有任何希望达到这爱的奇迹的话，那只能在圣地温达文。

　　"Where do all people automatically and effortlessly obtain pure ecstatic love for Krsna? Where does the Supreme Personality of Godhead manifest His supremely wonderful pastime form? Where is the empire of the bliss of devotional service to Krsna's lotus feet manifest? O brother, listen and I will tell you a secret. All this is present here in Vrndavana."
　　“在哪里所有人可以自动地、毫不费力的获得对奎师那纯粹的狂喜之爱？在哪里至尊人格首神展示他那崇高而又奇妙的娱乐活动的形体呢？哪里是展示对主莲花足的奉献服务的极乐国度？兄弟啊，听吧，我会告诉你一个秘密。所有一切都在温达文这里显现。”
　　[Srila Prabhodananda Saraswati, Vrindavan-mahamrta, Chapter 1, Verse 24]
　　[施瑞拉·帕波达南达·萨茹阿斯瓦提，温达文·玛哈密瑞塔, 第一章24节]

　　Attaining such an exalted stage of Krsna consciousness also implies broadcasting the message of Lord Caitanya throughout the world. Thus for many preachers the formula equates to 11 months of preaching in the West and a single month of bhajan in the holy dhama. I was eager for those few precious weeks in the land of Krsna.
　　达到这样崇高的奎师那知觉阶段也意味着在全世界传播主柴坦尼亚的信息。因此许多传教者的公式就是十一个月在西方传教，一个月在圣地巴赞。我渴望在奎师那王国那宝贵的几个星期。
　　What made the opportunity of going to Vrindavan even more exciting this year was that my younger brother, Pete, would be accompanying me. His story is miraculous in itself - how he came from the lowest depths of delusion and suffering to the land of love and bliss.
　　什么使得今年去温达文的机会更令人兴奋呢，是我弟弟，皮特，会陪伴我。他的故事本身就是不可思议的——他是如何从最低深的错觉和苦楚来到爱和祝福之地的。
　　In August, Pete had decided to take his own life. A drug addict for more than 25 years, and destitute for five of them, he'd had enough. We had last seen each other six years ago at our mother's funeral in America. I had not heard from him since. Later I was to learn that the inheritance he had received from our mother had been embezzled by a devious accountant. He was left with no recourse but to literally live on the street. Nightly he would curl up to sleep on a cardboard box at the entrance to a store, or take refuge in the bushes near the railroad tracks in our hometown in California.
　　在八月，皮特想自杀。一个吸毒成瘾超过25年，贫困潦倒了五年的人，他遭受的足够了。我们最后一次碰面是六年前在美国我们母亲的葬礼之上，之后我再也没有他的消息。后来我得知他从我们母亲那里继承的遗产被狡猾的会计师盗用。他无依无靠只有流落街头。每晚他在商店入口处卷缩在纸箱上睡觉，或者在加里佛利亚我们家乡铁路沿线的树丛里避难。
　　He got food by rummaging through garbage cans on the street. He fell so much into the mode of ignorance that instead of washing his clothes he would wear them until they became filthy, and then before discarding them either steal more from clothing stores or obtain them as handouts from the Salvation Army.
　　他在街上的垃圾桶里找食物吃，他是那样的陷入无知的生活方式甚至不洗衣服，穿着那些衣服直到污秽不堪，在扔掉它们之前或者去服装店偷一些或者从救世军那些获得一些。
　　Eventually he owned practically nothing. The child-size sleeping bag he had acquired (which went only up to his waist) and the clothes he had on his back all fit in into a small bag. He drifted from town to town, sometimes living with others in the same miserable condition as himself, or alone, where no one would notice the severe fits of depression that haunted him.
　　最后，他几乎一无所有。他得到一个儿童用的睡袋（长度只够到他的腰）、衣服都放在他的一个小包里。他从一个城镇漂流到另一个城镇，有时候跟象他同样可怜遭遇的人一起住，或者一个人，没有人注意到沉重的沮丧折磨着他。
　　Often sick from living outside for years, even during winter, he contracted many infections and diseases. At one point a cancerous growth on his face became so prominent that a sympathetic doctor operated on it without charge, leaving him with a disfigured nose.
　　在外生活这几年经常生病，甚至是冬季的时候，他受到了各种感染和疾病。在某一时刻他脸上的癌症发展变得如此突出，以致于一位有同情心的医生免费给他作了手术，留给他一个变丑的鼻子。
　　Daily he took shelter of the one thing that dulled the pain of his existence: drugs. His preference was amphetamines - or "speed" in street dialect. Because of his casual, happy-go-lucky nature he made friends easily, and drug pushers supplied him everything he desired for nothing.
　　每天他靠一件事来减少他存在的痛苦：吸毒。他喜欢用安非他明——在街头俗称“speed”。因为他的漫不经心、随遇而安的天性他很容易交到朋友，毒品贩子提供他任何想要的东西。
　　But the apparent relief he experienced through drugs in reality only complicated matters, and so late last summer he decided to commit suicide.
　　但显然他通过吸毒而减轻痛苦的经历事实上只是使问题复杂了，之后去年夏天他决定去自杀。
　　For the first time in years he was living in an apartment with a woman he had met several months earlier. Linda Sue had encountered a similar fate as Pete: a divorce had left her homeless and she, too, had turned to drugs. The government had taken away her two children, but returned custody to her when she managed to rent an apartment in a San Francisco ghetto.
　　这几年来他第一次和他几个月前认识的一个女人住进了一所公寓。琳达·休遭遇和皮特相似的命运：离婚使她无家可归，因此也转向吸毒。政府带走了她的两个孩子，在她设法租下旧金山犹太人区的一所公寓后，政府又把孩子还给她抚养。
　　One day she and Pete found an old computer in a garbage can on the street. Taking it to a local computer shop, they charmed the owner into repairing it as a favor. Pete was the first to use the computer. Linda Sue was shocked that night when she discovered he had ordered a number of deadly pills over the Internet. When she confronted him, he admitted he was contemplating suicide. Desperate, she asked him if he had any family, hoping one of them could convince him not to take his life. When he told her he had an older brother, she persuaded him to search the Internet to find me and ask for help.
　　一天，她和皮特在街上的垃圾桶里发现一台旧电脑。把它带到本地的一家电脑商店后，他们游说店主帮忙修好它。皮特是第一次用电脑。那个晚上琳达·休震惊的发现他通过网络定购了许多致命的药丸。当她质问他时，他承认他企图自杀。她不顾一切的要求他如果还有什么亲人的话，希望其中的一位能使他不要放弃生命。当他告诉她有一个哥哥后，她说服他通过网络来找我并请求帮助。
　　The problem was that Pete couldn't remember how to spell my name - although we had spent time together when I was a devotee in France. In 1983, I had brought him to Paris to spend a few weeks with me. It was a difficult visit.
　　问题是皮特记不起怎么拼写我的名字了——尽管在法国我还是一个奉献者的时候我们曾经聚过一段时间。1983年，我带他到巴黎和我度过了几个星期。那是一次艰难的访问。
　　I had problems keeping him away from drugs and alcohol, and he had shown little interest in Krsna consciousness. Only on the last day of his visit did I see a glimmer of hope. He was late for his flight and I was looking anxiously around the temple for him. Eventually, I found him paying dandavats on the floor of the temple room in front of Radha Paris-Isvara. He lay there for a long time, and when he rose he stood respectfully before the Deities, his hands folded. I watched in amazement through a slightly opened door as he prayed feelingly to Radha and Krsna. I couldn't make out what he was saying, but it was obvious that he was taking shelter. After two or three minutes, he paid his obeisances again and left.
　　我无法让他离开毒品和酒，他表示出了对奎师那知觉的一点点兴趣。只是在他来访的最后一天，我看到了一线希望。他延误了航班，而我在庙周围焦急的等他。最后，我发现他在庙里茹阿达·巴黎-伊斯瓦茹阿神像前的地板上做五体投地的顶拜。他俯拜在那里好长时间，起身后他恭敬地站在神像面前双手合十。我通过狭小的门缝惊讶的看着他充满感情地向茹阿达和奎师那祈祷。我不能了解他在说什么，但显而易见他在祈求庇护。两、三分钟后他再次敬礼，然后走了。
　　Now 21 years later, as Pete typed in various combinations of letters of my name in his Google search, nothing came up. Finally in the wee hours of the morning he typed in the correct spelling and came up with numerous hits. The first one he chose: www.traveling-preacher.com.
　　如今，二十一年之后，皮特试着用我名字字母的不同组合在google上搜索，什么也没有。最后在凌晨的时候他拼对了，搜索出了众多的链接。他选择的第一个是：www.traveling-preacher.com.
　　Amazed at what he found, he spent the rest of the night and the next day reading the diary chapters. In the evening he told Linda Sue, "I'd like to contact my brother," before falling asleep exhausted.
　　惊讶于他找到的，休息了一个晚上后，白天他开始阅读日记。晚上在他疲惫地睡熟之前，他告诉琳达·休，“我愿意联系我哥哥”。
　　Soon after I was downloading my email in Poland, unaware that Pete was still alive. I had searched for him for years through the police, friends in America and the Internet. Well aware of his drug addiction, I had concluded he was dead. Thus I was shocked when I received an email from Linda Sue:
　　稍后我在波兰收我的电子邮件，不知道皮特还活着。这些年我一直通过警察、美国的朋友和网络在寻找他。知道他吸毒上瘾后，我推断他已经死了。所以当我收到琳达·休的来信后很吃惊。
　　"My name is Linda Sue DeLaney. Peter is my boyfriend. I met him last year. I was homeless and the government had taken my two children and put them in a foster home.
　　“我叫琳达·休·德莱尼，彼得是我的男朋友。我在去年遇到他。我是一个无家可归者，政府带走了我的两个孩子交给别人寄养。”
　　"Peter was also homeless. He had been living in a tent up in the hills for three years. This is where I ended up. Recently I got my children back. We live in a ghetto in San Francisco.
　　“彼得也是个无家可归者。他在山上的一个帐篷里过了三年。这是我结束的地方。最近我接回了我的孩子，我们生活在旧金山的犹太人区。”
　　"I worry about Peter because he lived outside for so long and it was such a hard life. It is very difficult to get him motivated. He becomes depressed easily. Recently he has talked about suicide.
　　“我担心彼得，因为他在外面生活了太长时间，是那样辛苦的生活。他变得很容易沮丧，很难再推动他。最近他在谈论自

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